Thursday, July 20, 2006

Rejected and Honest Hymn Titles

I lifted these from a forum I frequent. The Christians will get most of them them. Others will get a few. You can say, "Huh?" about particular ones if you're curious enough to want the joke explained.

Rejected Hymns:
  • God, You Can Be Such a Jerk Sometimes
  • Even Cripples Praise Your Name
  • Faith of My In-Laws
  • Cleanse My Scalp of Dandruff, Lord
  • Another Rainy Day. Great. Thanks a Lot.
  • Just One More Hour, and Then We Go Home
  • O Saints Who Died in Gruesome Ways
  • Jesus is More Than Alright with Me
  • You Have to Admit, This Sounds Pretty Farfetched
  • I Thank Thee, God, for Buttocks Firm
  • O Lord, We Really Prefer Not to Know
  • Alleluia, Schmalleluia

Honest Hymn Titles
  • I Surrender, Some
  • There Shall Be Sprinkles of Blessings
  • Fill My Spoon, Lord
  • Oh, How I Like Jesus
  • He's Quite a Bit to Me
  • I Love to Talk About Telling the Story
  • Take My Life and Let Me Be
  • It Is My Secret What God Can Do
  • There Is Scattered Cloudiness in My Soul Today
  • Where He Leads Me, I Will Consider Following
  • Just As I Pretend to Be
  • When the Saints Go Sneaking In
  • Sit Up, Sit Up for Jesus
  • A Comfy Mattress Is Our God
  • Self-Esteem to the World, The Lord Is Come
  • Oh, for a Couple of Tongues to Sing
  • Amazing Grace, How Interesting the Sound
  • Go Tell It on the Speed Bump
  • Special, Special, Special
  • Lord, Keep Us Loosely Connected to Your Word
  • Praise God From Whom All Affirmations Flow
  • My Hope Is Built on Nothing Much
  • O, God, Our Enabler in Ages Past
  • I Lay My Inappropriate Behavior on Jesus
  • Pillow of Ages, Fluffed for Me
  • All Hail the Influence of Jesus' Name!
  • When Peace, Like a Trickle
  • I'm Fairly Certain that My Redeemer Lives
  • We Give Thee but Still Think We Own
  • What an Acquaintance We Have in Jesus
  • My Faith Looks Around for Thee
  • Joyful, Joyful We Think Thee Pretty Good
  • Blessed Hunch
  • Above Average Is Thy Faithfulness
  • We Are Milling Around in the Light of God
  • Spirit of the Living God, Fall Somewhere Near Me
  • Blest Be the Tie that Doesn't Cramp My Style
  • Sweet Five Minutes of Prayer

No comments: